Alarm Shock - The shock of having to wake up a lot earlier than you normally would. More commonly after you get back from a vacation, leave of absence, summer break, etc.
“After Maegan was on vacation for a week, when her alarm went off at 7:45 AM for work, she jumped up with total alarm shock.”
PAST USEFUL WORDS A-Z
Askhole - Someone who asks many stupid, pointless, obnoxious questions.
“When Steve wouldn't stop asking Maegan personal questions, he was being a real askhole.”
Blinkered - Horses wear blinkers. It stops them from getting startled by movement in the peripheral vision. So to be described as blinkered means you are not open to other ideas; Single-minded.
"I tried to convince my husband to watch a musical with me but he says they're all the same and refused! He's so blinkered."
Break The Glass - When you're breaking out the big guns. When everything you've tried has failed, so you're resorting to your emergency plan. From breaking the glass of fire extinguishers to putting out a fire.
"When the broom and dustpan just weren't enough to get all the cat hair, I broke the glass and grabbed the Dust Buster!"
Break Your Crayons - Make you very upset or sad, or ruin your whole day.
"Nutter, don't worry about Dano, he's just tryin' to break your crayons. Just let it go."
Bumfuzzle - confuse; perplex; fluster
"When Dano kept referring to Thursday as Friday, we knew he was completely bumfuzzled."
Billingsgate - coarsely abusive language
"Dano must have had a really bad day because he's been coming at Nutter with all sorts of angry billingsgate today."
Celebutante - A person of high society and wealth whose famous just for the fact of being rich and fabulous. A socialite who is "famous for being famous."
“Paris Hilton has got to be one of the biggest celebutantes in history.”
Chassy - A girl or guy with an awesome figure/body
"That tall curvy blonde that just walked by us had an awesome chassy."
Collywobbles - pain in the abdomen and especially in the stomach; a bellyache
"Nutter drank too much last night and has barely left the station bathroom. It's safe to say he has the collywobbles."
Diphthong - two vowel sounds joined in one syllable to form one speech sound, e.g. the sounds of "ou" in out and of "oy" in boy.
"Some people really struggle with the Dipthong in Maegan's name. The "ae" is pronounced like "ay"."
Earjacking - Eavesdropping on a conversation that you have no business hearing.
“Nutter totally earjacked my conversation with Dano and now he knows what I got him for his birthday!”
Emaelstrom - A long and complicated email trail with dozens of CC's discussing a situation almost none of the recipients cares about.
"My cousin sent the entire family a photo of his daughter and now I'm trapped in an Emaelstrom!"
Enterdrainment - Any passive form of entertainment that is so incredibly mind-numbing that it sucks the intelligence from the listener or viewer.
“I watched 3 minutes of that Real Housewives show and I just don't understand how anyone enjoys that type of enterdrainment.”
Fake-Up - A break-up that eventually leads to the couple making back up. Hence, it is not a real breakup, but a "fake-up."
“Jack and Jill broke up again, but you know they're going to get back together... so it's another fake-up.”
Flagaphile - One that is excessively patriotic; an over-the-top patriot.
“Nutter was dressed head-to-toe in red, white, and blue, and had at least 10 flags just on the outside of his house; he is definitely one of those flagaphiles.”
Flashole - That person who flashes you with their brights even though your brights aren’t on.
“I was blinded by a flashole going around a corner and ended up in the ditch.”
Floordrobe - A form of storage for clothing that requires no hangers, drawers, doors, or effort. Simply drop on the floor and you have a floordrobe.
“Maegan and her husband were struggling for more space to hang their clothes so their closet became a very stylish, his and hers floordrobe at home.”
Fly Naked - To fly somewhere with the bare minimum of belongings, and purchase the rest where you are.
"Dano, aren't you going to pack for vacation?" "Nope, I prefer to fly naked."
Foreploy - The act of misrepresenting yourself, for the sole purpose of gettin’ ‘some’.
“He told her he had a Lambo and a place in Fiji before he tried to take her home but she noticed he was wearing fake Yeezys and knew it was all foreploy.”
Gashole - A person who uses unnecessarily large amounts of gasoline to move from point A to point B, typically found driving SUV's (Sport Utility Vehicles)
“The driver of that Hummer is a real Gashole!”
Hatertots - Like haterade, the figurative snack you consume when you're hating on someone.
“Dano must have been eating hatertots when he was watching Maegan’s favorite movie, Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, because somehow, he did not like it.”
Locationship - A brief romantic encounter usually occurring while traveling or on vacation. May be rekindled at future opportunities.
“Jill? yeah, she's cool. We had a brief locationship at the company retreat last fall.”
Mirrorface - The unintentional look of coolness, focus, and determination that appears on one's grill when put in front of a mirror.
“Maegan’s husband couldn't help but notice her serious mirrorface every time she went to take a selfie.”
Mouse Arrest - Getting grounded from the computer.
"Nutter’s son got caught looking at Britney Spear’s topless photos on the family computer and he placed him under mouse arrest."
Multislacking - Doing multiple slacker-esque things concurrently.
“Nutter is the king of multislacking. He spent Saturday scrolling Instagram on his phone, watching TV, and eating DiGiorno frozen pizzas.”
Nintendonitis - A chronic, painful condition that affects the muscles or joints in the hand, fingers, and/or forearm after playing video games too much.
“Maegan and her husband challenged one another to a Mario Kart competition, but after hours of playing, their hands were cramping from Nintendonitis.”
Out-Of-Pocket - to be out of control; way off base. usually deserving of a good slapping or a full-blown ass-kicking.
"Nutter had 7 shots of Tequila last night and tried to dance on the bar! He was out-of-pocket so we drove his ass home!"
Pre-pull - The act of pulling the car door handle at the moment the driver unlocks the door, rendering the attempt fruitless, and resulting in minor frustration and/or embarrassment.
"Could you hit unlock again dude? I pre-pulled."
Rebooty - 1. A booty call made with an ex. 2. A renewed relationship with an ex.
“After they broke up, Jack still called Jill for some rebooty on weekends.”
Remail - Attempting to follow up on previous email messages which have gone unanswered.
“Nutter wasn't answering any of his emails so all of the listeners sent him remails.”
Resolutionary - People who start something new after the New Year, only to quit going within a few months.
“I couldn't find a free treadmill at the gym because the place was crawling with resolutionarys.”
Retox - To start consuming drugs and alcohol again after a hiatus in an effort to avoid the effects of withdrawal.
"Man, I haven't had a drink since Monday and I'm getting the shakes. I'd better retox."
Sheeple - People unable to think for themselves. Followers. Lemmings. Those with no cognitive abilities of their own.
“All the girls stopped wearing skinny jeans because they were sheeple.”
Serial Chiller - A person who always kicks back, kicks it, relaxes. One who rarely shoulders responsibility and avoids stress and anxiety.
"Nutter is either stuck to the couch or the lazy boy when he's home... guess you could call him a serial chiller."
Smell Check - Double checking the clothes you put on for any funky odors before getting dressed and leaving the house.
“Nutter couldn't remember if the shirt he picked up off the floor was clean or dirty, so he did a quick smell check.”
Stunt - To stunt is to floss or show off. When somebody's trying to stunt, they're trying to show off all they've got.
“Maegan started a dance-off and figured she’d stunt all of her old dance moves.”
Swagger Jacker - A person who steals someone else's flow, lines, jokes, or swagger.
“When Dano came in wearing white Chuck Taylors, Maegan & Nutter called him a Swagger Jacker.”
Technolust - The constant desire to have the newest, flashiest, fastest, shiniest gadget available.
“Dano’s wife put him in the doghouse because he bought the latest RC car without asking. His technolust got him in trouble again!”
Technosexual - A person who is so deeply enthralled with technology, that they discuss it with a level of passion that most people reserve for sex. Not always a geek or a nerd, but generally someone who has the latest and greatest everything.
“Dano became so excited about his new RC Car and telescope that his wife knew he must be technosexual.”
Textual Intercourse - The consummation of a relationship solely via text messages.
“Jack and Jill have been having textual intercourse for over a month, but I don't think they have gone out on a date in person."
Thirsty - Too eager to actually get something (especially play), Desperate
"Dano didn't want to sleep in the dog house anymore, so he started doing extra chores and over complimenting his wife. He was acting so thirsty."
Typeractive - Someone who is overly talkative on emails or text messages.
“Dano must have had extra coffee today because he’s been sending me a ton of long typeractive messages since this morning.”
Photo: On Call